There has been much debate and consternation in recent times regarding the subject of a test to determine the suitability of immigrants to settle in Australia. Government departments and media outlets have embarked on a frenzied quest to frame a set of questions to sort the wheat from the chaff and talkback radio and letters to the editor have gone into meltdown over the merits of the questions chosen.
The Beer Blokes, in their quest to make this country a better place one beer at a time, have come up with a set of questions designed to ensure only the best and brightest are allowed entry and that all undesirables are deported before you can say “Shit, that was quick!”.
1. Prospective Blokes must answer all questions.
2. Write answers clearly in black or blue pen.
3. Write on a piece of paper or, if in the pub, the back of a coaster. Do not write answers directly onto the screen.
4. Send your answers to “I want to stay in Australia” c/o firstname.lastname@example.org
Q1. How many cans are there in a slab?
Q2. Which is the odd one out? Cascade Pale Ale, Boag’s Draught, Toohey’s New, Carlton Cold.
Q3. In which sport would you find a ‘white maggot’?
Q4. Adelaide beer is generally shithouse because it is brewed with Adelaide water. Discuss.
. Which of the following list is a beer ingredient?
Malted barley, Water, Yeast, Cat’s piss, Adelaide water, Malted cat’s piss, Hops, Honey, sugar.
Q6. Who won the 1930 Melbourne Cup?
Q7. True or False, the ball was over the boundary when Wayne Harmes knocked it to Ken Sheldon in the 1979 Grand Final?
Q8. Who was the first Australian Prime Minister? Bob Hawke, Edmund Barton, Frank Walker, Crazy John.
Q9. In which state would you be if you were drinking 10 stubbies of Emu Bitter?
Q10. List all the words to the song ‘Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Oi, Oi, Oi.’
Send your answers and, in the case of an incomplete test, your passport details to this site and I will publish the winners shortly. And, like the competition at the Brothel, the first neatest, correct entry wins.
PS; Answers next week.
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