Friday, April 20, 2007


Last night saw the dinner announcing the results of the 2007 Australian Beer Awards. Conducted by the Royal Agricultural Society of Victoria and held at The Sofitel in Melbourne, the awards recognise the achievements of brewers from Australia and around the globe.

The results are always interesting and rarely are they met with unanimous agreement - the average punter certainly scans the result with only a passing interest, as the beers chosen as Grand Champions are often difficult or near impossible to find - and the chosen few are seldom seen as representative of what the average drinker prefers. This last point is not a bad thing, as, if the judging were left to the average drinker then the Grand Champion for the last ten years would have been a tie between VB and 'those VB's that came in cans what looked like cricket shirts wiv nubers and shit on them' with the silver going to VB stubby.

Having said that, the award winners this year are a mixed bunch in terms of availability and popularity.

Weihenstephan Kristall

PREMIERS TROPHY - Best Victorian Beer
Stella Artois

Colonial Brewing Company - Western Australia

Deschutes Brewery, Oregon USA

Colonial Brewing Company - Western Australia

Feral White - Feral Brewing Co WA

Weihenstephan Kristall

Timisoreana - Ursus Brewery Ukraine

Little Creatures Pale Ale - WA

Obsidian Stout - Deschutes Oregon

Redoak Baltic Porter

The Herald Sun in Melbourne (in a tiny corner of page 29) lamented that the rules need addressing as many winning entries were available only over specialist sites on the Internet and that . . . "it was the sixth time in seven years a rarely seen beer had taken the top honour." Pardon me for drinking, but there are, as we speak, TWO examples of Weihenstephaner Kristall in the Beer Bloke fridge as we speak - plus some TWO DOZEN empties collected over the past two months awaiting refilling with Beer Blokes Wheat Beer! And a well known liquor retailer whose name shall be kept nameless unless they wish to sling me some product in contra and it rhymes with Ban Furphy's, has shelves of this and other Weihenstephaner beers.

If I were to be critical I guess I could have a crack at Stella Artois being voted by the Premier as the best Victorian produced beer. Nothing against Stella - love a pint - but the Stella produced in Abbotsford is hardly the best example of Stella going round and is probably one of many standard golden lagers available. Maybe the Premier as the Minister For the Wharehouse Full of Mirrors needs to convene a committee to "leave it with me and I'll look into it."

I was also critical of last years Grand Champion, Redoak Special Reserve, not because it was rubbish but because it is very difficult to find out if it's rubbish. You could only get this beer by booking a table of ten or more at the Redoak restaurant. This is a fault of the judging criteria not Redoak and wants looking into. It would be easier to get drinkers to locate Tony Mokbel and recite the regulations of stage four water restrictions than to try this beer.

More soon.

For the full results of the awards log on ;


Anonymous said...

Not sure about best Victorian beer but I believe that Stella Artois creates the best Victorian hangovers.

It is through trial and error that I have come to believe that consumption of stella is a recipe for hangovers. more so than any other beer.

I wonder whether our learned authors have theories about severity of hangovers and whether this can be traced back to specific beers or specific ingredients in specific beers?

Beer Blokes said...

A very good question, Anon, and one that I reckon I can supply a fairly good answer to. Or at least a fair guesstimation. OK I'm just going to make stuff up.

Basically what makes you hung over is not alcohol. If you were to drink 100% pure alcohol you would be fairly Brahms and Liszt but would wake up (eventually) fairly well off.

It's the residual sugars in beer and such that stays in the blood stream long after the last Lager has been sent to Werribee - or Bondi for those in NSW - all other states, territories and countries insert your own sewage treatment location here.

When the yeast goes to work on the sugars in the wort - usually barley malt or corn sugar or even rice malt- it consumes what it can and converts it to CO2 and alcohol.

Higher abv beer means either more quantity of fermentables in the beginning or that the yeast has gobbled up more of them. The stuff that the yeast cannot convert remains as body of the beer in the form of residual sugars - the natural enemy of a good next morning. These sugars tend to clog the bloodstream and slow the metabolism down as they work themselves more slowly through the system. Which brings us to dry and low carb beers. And beer marketing men. Grrr! Stay tuned

Anonymous said...

Hello there, Prof. P,

A moment ago Dr. Lager smacked himself on the forehead (with a stubby of Pale Ale, I believe) and realised he has not returned phone messages in the last week.

This is obviously due to the overwhelming task of beer consumption, grading, classification and note-taking that occurs continually in the Lager Household. Dr. Lager is not one to derelict his duties in this regard. Regrettably it does - on occasion - impede his memory in the other, inconsequential areas of life, such as "daily living".

Er...actually, I say that but I think what happened was that I played the message and forgot to tell him about it till half an hour ago. I blame it all on the lingering effect of the "Beast".

Will work out a catch-up date now!

- Mrs. Lager

Anonymous said...

7 May 2007

**Anon looks around...**

It's all gone quiet over 'ere

**Anon departs for other blogs**

Beer Blokes said...

Dear Anon,
Hello? Hello? Hellooooooooooooo!!


*Whispers* - "sorry."

Oh good, your still here. Apologies for the delays in witty postings and such. I could say it was just because I was feeling unappreciated and wanted to see if anyone was actually reading my ramblings and musings.

Glad to see there was at least one.

Or still is at least one.

Still with us?

Give me sign, Say a few syllables.

I will make it up in the next week!

Prof. Pilsner.