Saturday, May 17, 2008

They're At It Again

This one comes from the letters to the Editor in the Melbourne Herald Sun a while back.
Under the sub-heading, “Nip Booze Culture in the Bud” – no Budweiser reference intended, I’m sure, although, if we could nip one modern day curse, it could well be ‘The King of Beers (Rear)’ – was this gem of beer bashing brainlessness;

“It’s not only the Government and MPs concerned about excessive alcohol consumption – so are thousands of families afflicted by this dreaded disease.” No argument so far, fair point. We all want to stop bingeing and the related social fall-out.

“Alcohol is now less expensive than bottled water.” Your point being? Careful, now.

“It’s time to tax it to the hilt, as is done with tobacco, label containers with health warnings and reduce advertising.” Now you’re just being a dickhead.

“Alcohol consumption can be lessened if we make the effort.” Perhaps if your brain had made more of an effort, you wouldn’t be copping this spray.

Does it ever occur to these ‘blame-gamers’ that maybe the price of bottled water is too high!?! Or that dickheaded beer disrespecting tools don’t look at the price of bottled water and say.”Hmm, bit rich, might just go a slab of VB instead.” Based on this logic, I could argue that cats’ piss is less expensive than beer so I am forced or encouraged to drink that! By the way, in this example I mean REAL cat piss, not Corona.

Yes, let’s tax beer and such ‘to the hilt’ so that ordinary, law abiding and self respecting enjoyers of nice things can be punished for the sins of the weak willed minority and the beer fuelled buffoonery of the mindless few. And maybe, in retaliation, we could force a tax on moccasins and mullets and going out in public without footwear so that those who disrespect basic social conventions can feel as pissed off as we beer drinkers feel when we are unfairly targeted.

I will also, at this point, make note that this particular letter to the editor did not specifically single out beer as the blighted alcohol curse, but so many others in the recent past have singled out beer that I felt the average person would reasonably expect that this was implied. So there.

Prof. Pilsner

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