[I first published this 'tale' back in August 2009 when I was setting the menu for a beer dinner at The Courthouse. As we will be unleashing this ale on a hundred or so country folk at The Plough in August this year, I thought I'd do a bit more research and revisit this story of beer, broads and political correctness. Or something.]

Some more Beer Karma. I was sorting out the beer selection for the Beer Dinner at The Courthouse Restaurant featuring Spring Beers and had decided on Jamieson Raspberry Ale for the dessert. It just so happened that I had a couple left in the fridge from my recent visit and I thought to myself, “well, that’s as good an excuse as any to crack one and remember what it tastes like – for research purposes, of course!”

Looking at the label I recalled how Jeff Whyte had changed the look of this one to reflect the line that the beer is ‘Anything But Sweet’. It now has a stylised raspberry shaped hand grenade which suits the beer nicely.

It also made me recall the lasting impression I got as I left the brewery with my takeaways. A large poster frames the exit door and, had I not been in a hurry, I would have unpacked the camera and snapped a memento.

The poster depicts a beautiful and artistic representation of a reasonably well known fairy tale character who lived with seven ... short statured? ... diminutive? ... under-sized? .... oh, for f*&@s sake, they’re DWARVES (I’ll get around to giving you a serve soon, do-gooders!).

Again using the tag line of ‘Anything But Sweet’ ‘Ho White’ is seen blowing Smoke Rings (the mysterious Eighth Dwarf) while snuggled up in the bed with her seven live-in miners. I thought it was one of the funniest pieces of tongue-in-cheek advertising I had seen in a long time.

This morning I read that the Evil Empire, The Disney Corporation, has had a Dumbo-sized hissy fit that THEIR sweet little girl was being used without their permission. By which I’m sure they mean a large hunk of cash. Call me crazy, but I didn’t think anyone owned fairy tales except those that wrote them in the first place. I could be wrong and maybe Disney has bought the cheeky little Woodsman Woo-er and her crew of Dopey, Grumpy and otherwise mal-adjusted mates.

Either way, lighten up. The kids won’t see it and no one else cares.

The beer, by the way, is a cracker.

Cheers,
Prof. Pilsner

Check it out here

Political Correctness

I got some good response to my recent post about political correctness and dickheadedness and how somewhere along the way we lost our ability to laugh at ourselves and take even the tiniest adversity in our stride.

With that in mind, and as a sort of pre-emptive strike in the battle for common sense, here’s a funny gag I read somewhere. Please feel free to be offended. If I have left you out, my apologies.

How Moses got the Ten Commandments

God went to the Arabs and said, 'I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.'

The Arabs asked, 'What are Commandments?'

And the Lord said, 'They are rules for living.'

'Can you give us an example?'

'Thou shall not kill.'

'Not kill? We're not interested.'

So He went to the Blacks and said, 'I have Commandments.'

The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said, 'Honour thy Father and Mother.'

‘Father? We don't know who our fathers are. We're not interested.'

Then He went to the Australians and said, 'I have Commandments.'

The Australians also wanted an example, and the Lord said 'Thou shall not steal.'

'Not steal? We're not interested.'

Then He went to the French and said, 'I have Commandments.'

The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, 'Thou shall not commit adultery.'

'Not commit adultery? We're not interested.'

Finally, He went to the Jews and said, 'I have Commandments.'

'Commandments?' They said, 'How much are they?'

'They're free.'

'We'll take 10.'

I hope I have covered most groups there. Please direct any complaints, threats, applications for Apprehended Violence Orders, civil rights and equal opportunity claims and sooky la-la comments to the following address;

www.idon’tgiveafatratsarse.org.au/hardenthef#@kup/haveabeerforgoodnesssake

Cheers,Prof. Pilsner