After filling the Commodore with petrol the other day I was standing at the till forking out the equivalent of my first mortgage payment when I saw the Impulse Buy Display. You know the sort of thing. Lollies and chocolate and cigarette lighters in the shape of hand grenades. And CDs. Really, who buys their CDs from a petrol station? "Just nickin’ down the BP for some LPG and Green Day, love!" "O.K. darl, just make sure you don’t pay any less than twice normal retail!"
One particular offering which caught my eye was Best Ever Beer Drinking Songs. Now, not sure if this means best songs to drink beer to, songs you can only listen to if you’re pissed, songs written by pissed songwriters or songs that are so shit you should use the disc as a coaster. But it got me thinking about beer, as many seemingly insignificant day-to-day things do. And I thought it would give me a chance to have the readers contribute something so that I don’t have to come up with ALL the funny stuff.
I propose starting a list of Real Beer Songs. These might be songs that are best sung when beered, or that you can only sing when blind or that contain references to beer. If you can be arsed sending something in, try to give some sort of reasoning behind your choices. It can be well known music or outside the mainstream or even something your Grandpa made up and sang to you when he got on the Singing Sauce.
A few of my personal favourites for example; Mental As Anything, The Nips are getting Bigger ... ‘Started out, just drinkin’ beer; Didn’t know how or why all the while I was doin’ it.’ Or; Weddings, Parties, Anything, ‘Rosy and Grey’; ... ‘and drink some Guinness from a tin; ‘cos my UI cheque has just come in.’ Or something simple like ACCA DACCA’s ‘ Have a drink on me.’
So pull out those old 45s and 33s - that’s record player records for the young ‘uns or your old tapes and jot down a couple of classics. We may even get a metrosexual record producer called Trentt with a poncy ponytail who smells like a girl to pay us a keg o’ cash to distribute the finished product. And our ads will have a really big disclaimer at the end; DEFINITELY NOT AVAILABLE IN PETROL STATIONS !!!