Naughty Raspberry Beer

[I first published this 'tale' back in August 2009 when I was setting the menu for a beer dinner at The Courthouse. As we will be unleashing this ale on a hundred or so country folk at The Plough in August this year, I thought I'd do a bit more research and revisit this story of beer, broads and political correctness. Or something.]

Some more Beer Karma. I was sorting out the beer selection for the Beer Dinner at The Courthouse Restaurant featuring Spring Beers and had decided on Jamieson Raspberry Ale for the dessert. It just so happened that I had a couple left in the fridge from my recent visit and I thought to myself, “well, that’s as good an excuse as any to crack one and remember what it tastes like – for research purposes, of course!”

Looking at the label I recalled how Jeff Whyte had changed the look of this one to reflect the line that the beer is ‘Anything But Sweet’. It now has a stylised raspberry shaped hand grenade which suits the beer nicely.

It also made me recall the lasting impression I got as I left the brewery with my takeaways. A large poster frames the exit door and, had I not been in a hurry, I would have unpacked the camera and snapped a memento.

The poster depicts a beautiful and artistic representation of a reasonably well known fairy tale character who lived with seven ... short statured? ... diminutive? ... under-sized? .... oh, for f*&@s sake, they’re DWARVES (I’ll get around to giving you a serve soon, do-gooders!).

Again using the tag line of ‘Anything But Sweet’ ‘Ho White’ is seen blowing Smoke Rings (the mysterious Eighth Dwarf) while snuggled up in the bed with her seven live-in miners. I thought it was one of the funniest pieces of tongue-in-cheek advertising I had seen in a long time.

This morning I read that the Evil Empire, The Disney Corporation, has had a Dumbo-sized hissy fit that THEIR sweet little girl was being used without their permission. By which I’m sure they mean a large hunk of cash. Call me crazy, but I didn’t think anyone owned fairy tales except those that wrote them in the first place. I could be wrong and maybe Disney has bought the cheeky little Woodsman Woo-er and her crew of Dopey, Grumpy and otherwise mal-adjusted mates.

Either way, lighten up. The kids won’t see it and no one else cares.

The beer, by the way, is a cracker.

Cheers,
Prof. Pilsner

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People who really need a beer - Part 4

Every now and then Beer Blokes slots in one of these posts to remind us all of the life-enriching power of the Amber Nectar and how its absence can create voids that can only be filled by making stupid comments.

This week we welcome the fun-starved micro-intellects who have gotten thereselfs all in a flutter over, well, a very small issue, really.

The Cranbourne Cup is a regional annual race meeting that raises little interest to anyone other than the loyal locals who fill the Bogan Enclosure, drink heaps of Fizzy Yellow, place a few bets and hope to end up in the same cab home as Sharon from accounts. But this year was different.

As part of the crowd entertainment the organisers ran the Midget Cup – a piggy-back race down the main straight featuring blokes carrying dwarves in jockey’s silks on their backs. Not a particularly enthralling or engaging spectacle, I had to admit, but certainly more fun than some other half-time spectacles I could recall. Well, despite the fact that all participants – regular and pint-sized – appeared to be willing as well as smiling all the way, there has been a massive uproar and gnashing of self-righteous teeth.

Everyone from the State Premier and the Minister for Racing And Not Letting Anyone Have Fun have come out in ‘defence’ of the ‘little people’. Don’t mind that they WERE PAID to appear and have stated that they don’t feel belittled (sorry, couldn’t help meself) by performing within their obvious physical capabilities. Their spokesperson, Jeremy Hallam, published a response to the do-gooders who were claiming that the ‘race’ was demeaning to short people, politically incorrect and socially unacceptable.

Jeremy is a regular at a restaurant and bar I used to work at and I consider him to be a top bloke. Although short in stature he is a giant in terms of his drive, his ambition and his determination to do what he wants to do, all the while accepting his limitations but not allowing them to plot his destiny. He is a great self-promoter, hard worker and a clever organiser having arranged events and fund raisers for local youth. If he wants the Nannies to lighten up – then lighten up!

It was all a bit of fun, it was enjoyed by those who joined in and, although not especially entertaining, it was an amusing distraction for the crowd for all of two minutes. And if it hadn’t been captured in a grainy, shaky video on a cheap phone camera and then sold to the Media, it would have been as memorable as it was brief.

And lastly – those who have the various forms of Dwarfism are not called ‘little people’, ‘short-statured people’ or ‘differently abled people’ – they are called dwarves!! Being a dwarf is a part of who and what they are, like being Caucasian, Catholic, Columbian or a Collingwood supporter.

Chill out, have a beer.

Cheers
Prof. Pilsner