Get your hands off my boobies!

A recurrent theme in this blog is do-gooders, bleeding hearts and fun-nannies trying to sanitise and simplify and overtake my life. OK, maybe that’s a stretch, but it seems that every week I am having to ask myself; “Is that REALLY necessary?!?”

Today it is some bunch of tools who put two and two together and come up with “OH MY LORD, YOU CAN”T DO THAT!!!” The two and two that they are putting together makes up a new campaign to educate those who may need a little assistance in order to make the right choice. Two beers and two boobies.

We are constantly being advised as to the alcoholic strength of the beer we drink wether it be a nice craft beer or an import or a glass of bland mainstream fizz. Every container of take away beer clearly states the number of standard drinks contained within. 1 standard drink, 1.3 standard drinks, 2 standard drinks. Simple, really. And this is a good thing because it gives all drinkers the opportunity to understand the terms of measurement. It’s about education.

But what about tap beer? How many standard drinks are there in a pot? A schooner? A pint? A pony or a butcher, a middie a schmiddie or a tasting paddle? The TAC (accident compensation, to which all tax payers contribute and all innocent victims are eligible to be paid from) has used different techniques to get the message across that drinking and driving is dangerous. All based on standard drinks. And now they want to make the point with a well put together ad campaign showing two blokes trying to calculate how many standard drinks they have had.

A barmaid pours two more beers for them, then tips out and tops up the beers to different levels based on a complex formula taking into account their respective weights, metabolism, food intake, drinking speeds etc. It is a well constructed message saying; “If you think you’re over the limit, you probably are”. This ad has been around over a year with no problems. Maybe the do-gooders missed the ads because they played during the telecasts of fun things like sport, funny movies and reality programs. The ads have recently been condensed into a beer coaster format showing two beers being served by the same friendly barmaid with the words “This is 3 standard drinks”.

The do-gooders have come out swinging. “We don’t want breasts with our messages! These coasters will just make people want to drink more beer! Are you all MAD!?!” Damn right I’m mad, you sanctimonious twat! It takes the right kind of marketing to point out the right message, and if the TAC use these two points to make a point and young, stupid, potential Beer-Idiots are drawn to these points and then they get the point – then that’s a good thing. Now piss off.

You can see the original ad here.

Cheers
Prof. Pilsner