Thursday, February 5, 2009

Cheers and Jeers

Sipping on a beautifully chilled 3 Ravens 55 last night, I couldn’t help thinking that the last week had been a busy one and overall quite unique. Here is something of a ‘Slaps & Sledges’ post – slaps on the back for the good ‘uns and sledges for the wrong ‘uns.

An unprecedented spell of hot weather – including the second hottest day in Victoria’s recorded history – meant that plenty of people had very good reason to get snippy and shitty and generally act like tools. But this was not the case. Neighbours joined to check on elderly residents in their street, strangers assisted neighbours who had lost power, volunteers fought fires, provided lighting for police and fire fighters, made meals and toted water and our very own Prime Minister jumped four pews in church and knocked over three old ladies to help assist an old bloke out after he had fainted in the heat.

To the peanuts and knob-jockeys who deliberately lit some of the fires that destroyed homes, farms and, for f%$#s sake, a 150 year old pub, I hope your beer turns to vinegar and rots your tackle on the way out. To the soft-cocks who grizzled about late trains, hot days at the tennis and coins stuck in the pokie machine when the power went out – harden the F@#K UP!! (Thanks Tim for reminding me of that one). To the dumb-arsed flogs who keep demanding that somebody else drag their own sorry arse out of the poo – see the above.

To the over paid, publicly funded, lab-coated spazzos who keep pumping out ‘new studies’ showing that beer is inherently evil – stop wasting my money and my time and start finding a cure for something real. Dickheads.

To the little ones, including our own middle Pilsner and Master Lager who started their school journey this week in searing temperatures, well done and it’s great to have you out of the house. to the teachers who will guide them –good luck and God bless!

To the many volunteers who give up their time to support the paid emergency service workers as well as providing vital community assistance in these times of trouble, well done, here’s cheers. To all those strangers who pass on their thanks and offer them drinks (can’t have a beer in uniform, sorry!) here’s cheers. To the families and friends who make t possible for them to do their jobs, here’s cheers. To the poor bastards from the various power companies who were ‘up the poles’ for most of the last week in 40 plus degrees heat, here’s cheers.

And ... to all those magnificently talented and dedicated craft brewers who have provided some beautifully chilled refreshment and enjoyment at the end f a long hot day, CHEERS!!

Prof. Pilsner

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