Christmas Beers 2009

Well, the busiest week of the year has drawn to a close (if you don’t count preparing for a New Years’ Eve full restaurant and a full-house back at home a-waiting) and now I have a minute to reflect and review the season’s beery offerings for you.

Fortunately, with a young family of our own as well the two sets of grandparents to take into account AND the Littlest Pilsner celebrating her birthday just after Christmas, the Pilsner Clan deigns to spread the festive cheer over the course of the whole week. Lest we all just burn out very early and things get very ugly.

After closing up the restaurant late on Wednesday night and hanging back with the Chef/Owner to crack a celebratory ale and review the busiest month we’ve had, my mind was already sorting and ordering the festive beers to come. Christmas Eve is shared with Mrs P’s family and with the Brother-in-law (and fellow Ale Star) in attendance the beers are always varied and festive and interesting. This year we just happened to ‘click’ and bring some of the same beers to the party.

Beginning with a Budvar – a cracking palate-prepper – we helped to get the dinner ready and keep the kids away from the presents under the tree. Moving to the table we launched into a Christmassy-themed Weihenstephaner Pilsner (click on this link if you don’t know why it’s a Christmas beer) which was soon followed by a Red Hill Bohemian Pilsner. A second Weihenstephaner Pilsner served well as a palate cleanser for the ‘treat’ to come.

Earlier in the year some Samiclaus were purchased and put away for Christmas. They were put away for a number of reasons including the fact that, at 14% ABV it is NOT an everyday beer, that it is brewed ONLY on the feast of St Nick each year and then cask-aged for ten months before bottling, making it a vcery ‘festive’ brew and, finally, because Shandy had warned me, in no uncertain terms, against drinking it while it was ‘fresh’ – i.e. in the same year it was bottled. “Hard work” was how I think he described it.

A bloody hard effort, wrapped up in a difficult task and served up on a bed of nails with side dressing of ‘shit-this-is-bloody-hard-work’ would be closer to it. Maybe it had something to do with the beers which had preceded it? Nup. I can’t imagine having the Samiclaus as a starter. The alcohol content does not hide behind the well balanced malt and hops – it stands like a big Kiwi bouncer out the front of the Mouthfeel Nightclub and stares you down as if to to say; “Sorry mate, not in THOSE shoes.”


Warm – to the point of discomfort – with some nice, if subtle, spicy, blackcurranty, fruit-cakey kind of flavours which just can’t quite break through the heavy richness of the overall palate. Thinking that this might be one of those beers that needs a little warming to release its true character we sat back and waited. A sip. And we waited. And we waited. It never got better. Not that it got any worse – it just didn’t get better. If anything the alcohol warmth got a bit ‘petrol-y’. And not in a nice, fuel-your-engine-and power-out-of-the-straight kind of way.

As I packed the car and carefully stowed my Christmas present of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, Anchor Steam beer and Meantime Chocolate (what’s Xmas without chocolate?) I realised that not all Christmas beers bring about Christmas cheer. Putting out a nice icy cold Little Creatures Pale Ale for Santa (after giving the car keys to Mrs Pilsner) I realised that the difference between a beer being great and not-so-memorable is about half an hour.


Christmas Day with three young kids in the house is one of life’s most underrated and pleasurable experiences and one which deserves a post of its own – except it is not nearly as beer-related! Needless to say it involves lots of superfluous packaging, English-from-Chinese translated instructions and AA batteries. After which you seriously need a beer.

Cheers
Prof. Pilsner

Peace & Joy & Beer

I think I’ve shared these sentiments in this blog in years gone by, but they just keep coming back into my head. Therefore they are either very persistent and shall be repeated here, or they are still very relevant and shall be repeated here. And here goes.

No matter whether you are Christian or Calathumpian, Muslim or Mormon, Buddhist or “It’s All Bullshit” – Christmas is a special time. And that goes double if you have kids. There is just a certain something in the air if you choose to sniff it and if you can divorce your senses from the chaotic swirl of consumerism, confusion and fat Mums stuffing their faces (and those of their fat kids) with donuts and hamburgers in the shopping centres – it’s actually a very joyous and peaceful time.

Working for as long as I have in restaurants, this time of year has a frenetic pulse, a seemingly discordant symphonic pace and yet underlying it is a ‘buzz’ of better things. People coming from all parts to share – company, food, beer, laughs – and we get a ringside seat. Watching guests arrive. Nervously looking for their group, stuttering as they weigh up where to sit (Next to the boss? Not too far away from the boss? My partner doesn’t know anyone) Almost apologetically ordering their first drinks. Introducing the partner to the work people. Personal and public lives start to race towards collision.

And then something funny happens.

Christmas kicks in and everyone begins to relax. Work is forgotten for a few hours, family is forgotten and suddenly that bloke from accounts who you all thought was a bit of a knob-end actually seems – what’s the word for it? Human? And Mrs Frontbottom, the craggy-faced, hard-arsed bitch from the front office is actually smiling. Someone take a photo. As the entrees are cleared and the mains are served, you can almost hear the tensions unbuttoning. Sometimes it’s the boss who is ‘holding court’, enthralling the crew with war stories of Global Financial Crises past and tales of working in the factory in pre OH&S days when a ‘ladder’ was any collection of assembled objects that got you to the top shelf and a missing finger was a mark of honour and good source of a nickname.

Sometimes it’s the quiet bloke from the warehouse who takes centre-stage with a ripping send-up of the boss and his idiosyncrasies. Until now, no one else in the business knew he even spoke English. Everyone is laughing and everyone is equal – especially the boss who is both the target and the bloke who will be footing the tab. But it’s Christmas and everything is Festive-coloured. They can’t help themselves, Christmas is making them relax. Maybe they all ‘Road-Raged’ in the car on the way to the restaurant and maybe they cursed and pissed and moaned and kicked the cat that they had to give up a night to go out with work people – but they can’t help themselves now, the Christmas spirit has them firmly by the festive chestnuts.

And so to my Christmas Wish. To all who have read my blog, to those with whom I have shared a real beer and those with whom our beers have been virtual, to everyone who has listened and shared and commented and criticised – Thank You. I will raise a frothy glass to each and every one of you on Christmas day and genuinely drink to your health and happiness. Because that’s what beer is all about. Making the world a better place.

I hope you can all be like the guests I just described. I hope you can see past the wrapping paper and the 50% Off sale signs, past the dickheads and the doomsdayers, the alarmists and the nay-sayers and just enjoy the moment, even if it’s just for a little while. For what it’s worth, I find that sharing a nice special beer with friends helps the process along.
God Bless and Good Beer,

Cheers,
Prof. Pilsner

P.S. Disrespecting beer makes baby Jesus cry.

Do they know it’s Christmas Ale time?

Ale Stars at The Local Taphouse saw in the festive season last night with a joyous celebration of good company, good cheer and plenty of good beer. Seasonal and Christmas Ales was the theme and the room was filled with the now unmistakable ‘air of Ale Star’ – packed to overflowing with spirit and friendship and chatter and hand-shaking and the sudden need to employ the use of a microphone for the host to be heard.

Christmas is, for most, a special time of year and, while Australia is not as blessed as its northern hemisphere neighbours for Festive Ales from many breweries, it is, nonetheless, well served for those prepared to seek. Limited release specials from some of our own craft brewers as well as the availability of overseas offerings means we don’t have to miss out.

A Meantime High Saison kicked off proceedings with its hints of coriander, orange peel and cumin (is that a beer or a curry-starter?) which was well received. Of the fifty or so attendees most were in the affirmative for this one. Perhaps (he said, trying hard to be nice) the next offering was less enthusiastically received. Redoak, from Sydney, has produced its Xmas Cheer for some years now and each batch seems a little ‘removed’ from its predecessor – seasonal variance, or over-tinkering? Not as many hands shot up for this years’ version and the consensus seemed to be that the body was a little thin for the style with the finish a little spiky.

David Golding from Red Hill Brewery was the next ‘gift’ to emerge from Santa’s sack as he showed just how to entertain the crowd with a short but well chosen series of stories to illustrate the thinking behind both the Red hill story and the Christmas Ale in particular. As is often the case, a trip to Belgium years ago was the catalyst for both the establishment of the brewery on Victoria’s Mornington Peninsula as well as the formation of the idea for a seasonal range of beers, of which the Christmas Ale is arguably the star.

The Red Hill Christmas Ale is hopped using the breweries’ own Tettnang and Hallertau hops and the fickle yeast has been ‘tamed’ after four previous attempts made fermentation challenging. A long maturation along with some dry hopping gives this Belgian style seasonal a taut finish after some lovely rich malt and spicy middle bits. Santa wasn’t done yet and we all got to take one home with us to pop under the Christmas tree.

We finished off with a Rogue Santa’s Private Reserve Ale which is based on the amber ale known as St Rogue Red. And that’s about the colour you could expect your nose and cheeks to turn if you emptied too many of these at the Christmas dinner table. A nice finisher after which Dave was kind enough to stay around and chat to the masses. As the first special guest to make a return visit it seemed the Ale Stars still had some questions he didn’t get to answer the first time around.

The festive theme continued with the surprise presentation of a stunningly elegant and beautifully presented pictorial record made to celebrate the Ale Stars first year. A lovely bound first edition that looked very, very professional and didn’t look at all as though Steve and Mark from Cats and myself had cobbled it together from dodgy fuzzy photos, nice clear photos lifted off other peoples’ sites and stuck together with Ale Stars reviews from my blog. Hopefully it will sit proudly on the bar somewhere so that strangers will understand what this whole thing is all about. {Mental note to self – we WILL need to get it laminated}

The night finished with plenty more beery banter around the bar after the announcement of the trivia winners. Some teams did very, very well considering how particularly difficult the questions were but one team did exceptionally well, as it happened. As the team was made up of several previous winners, we, I mean they, were not sure whether to call the team “World Series Super Ultra Team” or “Team – Surely They’ll Disqualify Us Before We Even Start” but it appears that the Christmas spirit won the day and the free beers were duly dispensed. And they were very nice.

Cheers
Prof. Pilsner

Dinner with The Beer Diva

Christmas is a time for caring and sharing and what better way to show that you care by sharing dinner and a beer - or eight – with The Beer Diva.

The Beer Diva is Kirrily Waldhorn and a more appropriate moniker you could not attach. She just looks like a ‘Kirrily’. And while, in some circles the tag ‘Diva’ might evoke thoughts of stuffiness, petulance or arrogance, in the case of this Diva, the exact opposite is true. Relaxed, unpretentious and generous, she hosts a beer dinner as if you are all guests in her own home. Although she doesn’t run around looking flustered trying to juggle pots, pans and oven mitts, and then rope you into drying the dishes.


She does, however, look very comfortable sharing her passion for beer. A working lunch with head brewer Bill Taylor while working in the marketing department for Lion Nathan was Kirrily’s ‘Eureka’ moment – the event that made her realise her calling! Leaving to pursue a career as a Beer Diva (not sure wether it’s a degree or a diploma course) Kirrily has set out to share the Beer Word with beer novice and expert alike.

The Local Taphouse in St Kilda has been something of a ‘poor cousin’ to the mob in Darlinghurst who have had the pleasure of The Diva’s company on several occasions already. The second Beer Diva Dinner saw an intimate setting for around twenty, complete with Christmas tree and daggy Bon Bons, set alongside a menu of 5 courses matched to eight beers. You do the maths, that’s pretty impressive in anybody’s addition.

A Bridge Road Saison on arrival was followed by a Hoegaarden Wit and a risotto of prawn, lemon and coriander with snow pea tendrils and an introduction by The Beer Diva to the wonders of beer. A Hofbrau Helles with tempura zucchini flowers stuffed with ricotta and honey on an ajo blanco gazpacho may sound like a combination for which you might seek the advice of a medical specialist but was, in fact, a gastronomic delight.

Head Chef, Richard, emerged from his culinary cave to share his secrets with the dinner guests including the revelation that each meal (apart from the cheese plate) incorporated beer in the recipe. Game On! We decide we had to detect and identify each one.

A 2 Brothers Growler and a Hargreaves Hill Celtic Red were pitted against (or alongside!) each other and a main course of braised ox cheek with red wine jus frisee and glazed shallots and while the descriptions of the aroma of the Celtic Red were, to say the least, varied, all were in agreement on the deliciousness of the food. A Samuel Smith’s Oatmeal Stout and a hazelnut torte served with Chantilly Cream was just the ticket for those needing a sweet fix and the perfect pairing of three distinctly different cheeses with a Leffe Brune was the ideal finish.



At this stage we had all had “an elegant sufficiency” (as Kirrily’s grandmother would say) but there was still one more beer for those clever enough to have scooped the Trivia prize. And what better way to share the festive spirit than by sitting with friends, new and old, and winding down the night talking beer? With the partners of the Taphouse ‘keepers’ on hand (principals sounds too dicky, owners sounds too commercial) the night just had a magical Christmas family dinner kind of feel to it.

An isn’t that what Christmas – and beer – are all about?

Cheers,
Prof. Pilsner

Samichlaus the Christmas Beer

It’s Austrian, it’s beer and it’s a very festive 14% ABV.

Samichlaus is brewed on December 6 and then matured for 10 months before release. Produced from a fair whack of Pilsner malt with a little Munich 25 it is brewed using a double decoction method and, as a result, shows some kettle caramelisation in the flavour and the colour. Two hop additions ensure a balanced flavour profile and a hardy yeast able to withstand the workload required of a 14% beer give it an estery fruitiness.

I haven’t tried it yet. I am drawing my descriptions from the writings of the late Beer Hunter, Michael Jackson. The other Michael Jackson (skinny white guy with no face, one glove, lunatic) is still alive but he’s slowly working on it. So am I.

Michael Jackson wrote of Samichlaus beer back in 2000 when the Castle Brewery at Eggenberg revived the brew after a four year break. It was originally produced in 1979 for release in 1980 and sold up until 1997 when the brewery went bust. From what I can gather it has been brewed every year since then by the Eggenberg boys in conjunction with the original brewers. Subsequent batches were designed for cellaring to round out and enhance the flavours overall. The piece is well worth a read as it details the secrecy with which the brewer guards his craft and the stealth with which someone who was as good at his own craft as Michael Jackson guesses the rest.

Known as the Santa Claus beer I can only imagine if the jolly old fat bloke from up North had even one of these beers before taking off his reindeer would turn into pink elephants and he’d be lucky to back the sleigh out of the Pole without hitting it. Two or more and he wouldn’t be able to find his own arse with both hands. The actual translation of the word Samichlaus is Santa Claus in ‘Swiss-German’ but I suspect it’s actually Santa Claus in ‘Pissed-Idiot’. As in “Sami .... Shammi ... Shaaa-aaa-aaa-mY, Mate!!!! ORLUVYOOO!!! Nah, seruss-ly, mate ... mate ... ma-a-a-a-ate. FEN LEGEND MATE!!!”

It is interesting to note also that some insist his beer is a Doppellbock, while others will proudly call it the world’s strongest lager. Don’t know wether either is necessarily wrong, but it highlights the ways in which beer ‘labels’ can serve to confuse and divide opinion. As long as it’s liquid and beer-flavoured, I’ll give it a crack and leave the pedigree up to those who want to play those games.

Thanks Chris for the gift of the Christmas beer and thanks to the good folk at Sword’s Select for stocking these kinds of beer. I’m on call this week so I won’t be into the Santa Claus beer until next week when I will let you know what I think of it. For what that’s worth.

Cheers
Prof. Pilsner

What we drank for Christmas

As I wrote in a pre-Christmas post, the festive season is a special one when you have little kids. The whole ‘joy and glee and wonder’ thing is one of life’s little pleasures.

But so is beer.

Christmas is a time for celebrating, for gift giving and sharing with family and friends and for enjoying the moment. And we made sure that the beers played along with this theme. Dinner on Christmas Eve was at Mrs Pilsners folks’ place and we stretch the meal out over a few hours and break in the middle for the little ones to catch their breath and open the presents. This gives us plenty of opportunity to squeeze a few very nice beers in and around the meal.

Grandad doesn’t usually have a lot of beer in stock as he doesn’t drink it all that often, and it is usually a selection of either VB, Melbourne Bitter or light but as we arrived the first gift of Christmas came in the form of a fully imported German pilsner, no less. Readers of this blog may recall Professor Pilsner proferring opinions of Oettinger Pils in previous posts *Peter Piper Picked a Pick of Pickled Peppers and Pilsners* and you may also remember that this was the beer that I had stolen from me in the carpark of the beer shop. I’m not suggesting that this was the same slab.

Next , in the spirit of giving, we popped the caps off a couple of Barons Pale Ales – a gift in appreciation of my fine work in spreading the good word on their craft brews – and these went very well with the light smokiness of the ham.

Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without a Christmas beer and Weihenstephaner, with its historical links to good King Wenceslas, is as Christmas as they come. When you choose a Festbier (as seen in ‘Ale stars – the one where we drank celebration beers’) well, it’s just even more Christmassy.

And Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without a beer that actually has the word Christmas in its name, so on came the Red Hill Christmas Ale, a beautifully warm and mellow and festive tasting ale which developed even more depth as it warmed.

Chris and Jenny moved on to Jennys folks’ place for a traditional midnight feast of pork and scotch so we packed up the little Pilsners, did a tour of the fairy lights on the drive home and tucked them into bed. The final beer of the night was another Barons Pale Ale. Well, two really. The kids left one out for Santa.

Cheers,
Prof. Pilsner

A Tale of two Sittings

I love Christmas. I realise that it is a difficult and stressful time for many and for this I feel sorrow. Sorrow that everyone can’t feel as good as I do.

This situation is as much to do with beer as it does with having here kids, a couple five and under. Don’t underestimate the power of the magic of the season on adults as transposed from the little ones. But let’s just look at the role of the beer now shall we?

Christmas means a few things when it comes to beer. First, it gives partners a good opportunity to get you a ‘special’ as a gift from one of the kids to sit temptingly beneath the tree – even if, like Dr Lager, you have to get it for yourself while you’re out buying your own ‘Christmas specials’. These are the second of the great beer things of Christmas. The opportunity to grab a basket (or trolley) full of specials is a rare feast for the beer lover and one which needs due care and consideration mixed generously with liberal doses of care free abandon.

We spread our Christmas family celebration over Christmas eve and Christmas day with both sides of the family visited and each is very different in terms of the beer. Eve with the ‘out-laws’ is a bit of a beer fest with the Bro-in-law and I both exchanging very beery presents as well as providing the matched or themed beers for the meal. As we are the only two beer drinkers, this task is both fun and easy! More on the beers we chose in another post.

Christmas Day down the beach with my folks is just as enjoyable for the company and noisy laughter of three extra kids but the beer situation is vastly different. Because I have the driving duties – around an hour each way – and the fact that I have given the festive ales a reasonable nudge the night before, I need to pace myself and take things a bit easy. To this end, Dad helps out by being a wine drinker with plenty of beer in the fridge. But, in stark contrast to the ‘variety pack’ from the night before, Dad only ever has one or two beers representing the beer world at any one time. Fair enough if you don’t drink it all the time and only have it on hand for guests.

So Christmas Eve was spent selecting, evaluating and anticipating six different ales, lagers and specialty beers, while Christmas Day was spent knocking down a few quiet Crownies and enjoying the day. Both completely different experiences, but both enjoyable in their own special way.

I told you Christmas was a wonderful time.

Cheers,
Prof. Pilsner

I know what you mean

Over on Stonch’s Beer Blog, Jeff has posted a piece on the seasonal crowd who only frequent pubs at this special time of the year and some of the challenges that they pose to the year round regulars and the staff of the pubs they visit.

I am experiencing the same sort of thing in the restaurant as the corporate party crowd descends and brings with it many ‘fresh heads’ who may never have even thought to visit a restaurant like ours. This is not always a bad thing and it can even be a great opportunity to snaffle a few loyal regulars from other places around who may have been taking them for granted.

It can be frustrating when a new guest complains about the fact that you don’t have his favourite spirit or beer, but these blokes are thankfully rare. It does bring up the point that Jeff made and that is; to what extent do you ‘gear up’ for the Christmas crowd and how far do you go to accommodate their whishes or whims? I see the chance to expose them to something they may not have had and might just find themselves liking. I will sometimes pick my mark carefully and offer him or her a ‘beer back guarantee’ – try the beer, if you really don’t like it, I’ll buy you another. We both win in the end.

It can also be a good opportunity to talk beer with people who are accustomed to being offered just the standard big brewery fare whenever they go out and these guys really appreciate the extra attention to their beer drinking needs.

You will always get the few who can’t, or just won’t, be swayed from their favourite brew and that’s fine too. Spend your time and experience on those who you might ‘convert’ and the Beer World gains another to its population. They are the ones you may see back again – it’s pointless wasting too much time and energy on peanuts that you really don’t want in the place again anyway.

A pub is certainly a different beast to a restaurant in that my people have usually come in as a guest of someone else and not made the decision themselves whereas, as Jeff points out, his ‘Once a year Regulars’ come in as a result of some vague concept that they should visit a proper pub at Christmas time even if they wouldn’t do it any other time.

I like using this time of the year as an opportunity to make a few new friends and to move some stock that might normally sit around the fridge or the cellar. If we all get a ‘win’ then I don’t feel too bad. Merry Christmas.

Cheers,
Prof. Pilsner

Festive Beers

Now that the festive season is over it is a good opportunity to review our celebratory engagements and assess the success of our efforts to make the time memorable.

As alluded to in a comment from Mrs Lager, the annual get together on the last Sunday before Christmas was again an enjoyable occasion for all. The food was piled high and the beer flowed freely – as well as more that one bottle of very nice bubbles, if you like that sort of thing – and by the end of the day, the kids had all shared their pressies (excluding the one I assumed came with batteries), the food was all gone and a very pleasing collection of empties was left to put out for collection.

As is our new found custom, Dr Lager provided the six pack of tasters for the day to go with the extensive collection of ‘goes well with food’ beers chosen and chilled by me. Peroni Natsro Azzurro was the Docs’ choice and, given the weather – unseasonably wet and windy for the previous three days and then hot and sticky for the day itself – these Italians were more than welcome. A light but hoppy pilsner, the ‘Blue Ribbon’ went down well and held its own up against the barbequed meat and the big, juicy prawns. Like Heineken, drink them very cold.

This is also one of those beers whose ‘handle’ is subject to a bit of debate. Peroni is the Rome based brewing company that makes the beer and Nastro Azzurro is the beers descriptor. Most people in the restaurants that I have been associated with have asked for ‘a Peroni’, but to me, this is like asking for ‘a CUB’ or a ‘Toohey’s’ when you want a Carlton Draught or a New. In a noisy night club type environment I have also seen punters mistakenly served a Peroni when they had asked for a ‘Corona’. Peroni also makes a Gran Riserva Premium Nastro Azzurro and a brown bottled, red labelled ‘Original’ although this is less readily available. In some markets it also sells the Nastro Azzurro as ‘Peroni’ further adding to the confusion. I guess we should just drink the beer and be happy. But a message to the marketing department at Peroni; sort yourselves out.

Beck’s was also given a run on the day and it, too, was more than welcome with its floral hop notes ably befitting the food match criteria. As far as ‘international lagers’ go, there are worse around. Beck’s was formed in the northern German town of Bremen in 1873 and was sold to the brewing giant Interbrew (now InBev) in 2002 for – are you sitting down? – 3.5 billion DM or $2.1 billion US. That should give some hope to struggling craft brewers everywhere. The Beck’s worked particularly well with the steak marinated in French mustard, rosemary and Bundaberg Rum. Who’da thunk it?!

Christmas eve with Mrs Pilsners’ side of the family was a beer-stravaganza with brother-in-law and loyal Beer Bloke, Chris paying a quick visit to Melbourne’s world famous Queen Victoria Market to secure some interesting beers from a very competent outlet by the name of Swords Select. If you are ever at the market, pop in and grab some great hard-to-get craft beers and tell them you were recommended by the Beer Blokes.

A Czech premium lager in the mould of a Pilsner Urquell or a Budvar, Krušovice has a terrific earthy floral hop flavour and a nice tight bitterness which went off well with the turkey and ham. The label told me (no, I don’t hear beer voices) that the brewery making this Imperial Premium Lager was purchased in 1583 by the Emperor Rudolf II on behalf of the Czech crown. If that’s not a suitable enough link to Christmas, then I don’t know what is.

The aptly named Cleansing Ale from the Two Metre Tall brewery in Tasmania was a great way to finish the occasion and prepare to slip into relax mode. Mild but crisply bitter, the strength of this real ale is its well balanced malt/hop combination. The winery/brewery responsible for this and a few other as yet untried ales is currently importing some real hand pump engines through which to serve the cask conditioned stuff in the authentic manner. Bring it on, I says.

Christmas Day down the Peninsula with the Professors’ clan saw us sitting outside in the warm summer sun sipping James Boag’s Premium, Boag’s Strongarm and none other than Samuel Adams Boston Lager. A high end flavour based feast circulating around giant fresh king prawns, Moroccan chicken and red wine marinaded beef was just the foil for the big bold flavours of the tall dark Yankee.

New Year at Bob’s was a bit of a beer ad for Crown Lager with around half the lads there downing the golden premium lager from Foster’s. Which has a similar recipe to foster’s Lager, as well. But a longer maturation. And the gold trimmings on the label lets them charge a fat premium for the privilege of necking a brew reserved for diplomats and the upper class up until the early 50’s. Alternating between these and light beers, the boys were showing good responsible drinking behaviour despite the fact that the temperature was still a very warm 35 Celsius as the clock struck 2008.

I finished off the year with a couple of Boag’s Draught and then made the New Year memorable for all the wrong reasons. No, not like that. This didn’t involve nudie runs or ‘beer yodels’ but an unfortunate addition to the Beer Blokes Hall of Shame. I never knock a beer until I’ve tasted it and I always try to taste any new beers in the offering. The newest ‘Idea Beer’ from Foster’s is Carlton Cold Ultra Chill and I’ll cut to the chase right here, right now. Carlton Crap. Bottled Bullshit. Complete and utter waste of brewing resources. Where is the Reinheitgesbot* when you need it?

A completely baffling concept brew, the mystery is made no clearer by reading the marketing blurbs accompanying this new addition to a beer market already overcrowded with pissy, cheap looking, gimmicky brands;
“Ultra Chill is the first beer in Australia to use the special ultra chill ingredients. Ultra Chill is a special combination of ingredients added at cold filtration to deliver extra cold refreshment. The cold sensation is subtle at first and then builds gradually.”

What the..!!?? Or this from beerguide.com.au contributor SSAR;

Not bad. Not as good as I expected, however. Attractive from the start – the bottle looks pretty good, the labelling does look a tad cheesy, but still OK. An attractive & somewhat alluring aroma, followed by a taste dominated by an unexpected sharpness that detracts from the experience slightly, for mine. Seems to come through with the underlying great taste of Carlton Cold beer, but falls short in overall results.

The underlying great taste of Carlton Cold!?! He loves it but he doesn’t and it’s “not bad” but he gives it a glowingly low 1.6 out of ten. At 6.8% ABV maybe he had drunk a whole stubby. That’s more than I can say I did. A mouthful of this over processed, under flavoured and Britney Spears-unbalanced high alcohol shite that makes cat’s piss seem flavoursome was all I could manage. Welcome to the plumbing system, Carlton Cold Ultra Chill. Say hello to O’Brien’s Gluten Free for me.

Swiftly skolling a Boag’s Draught set my beer receptors back to below danger levels and another Krušovice sipped at a more leisurely pace helped to erase the horrible memories of this fleeting departure from my otherwise enjoyable beer experience. Lesson learned. Your turn, Foster’s.

The New Year will hopefully be free of any further embarrassments and lapses of judgement but, as I said, I will still be out there taking bullets for the team should any other new brews surface during 2008. Rest assured that the Blokes will continue to bring you the truth, no matter what the damage to my houses’ pipes.

Happy New Year and beer-st of luck for 2008.

Cheers.
Prof. Pilsner.

*Reinheitgesbot – the German Purity Law of 1516 which decreed that beer may only be made from malt, hops, water and yeast**. It didn’t specifically prohibit anything by name but it must be assumed that the legislators allowed for common sense to prevail. Australian authorities clearly need to state, in no uncertain terms that under no circumstances should brewers be allowed to add cat’s vomit or monkey piss to their beer. It’s the very least we deserve.

**it didn’t actually state yeast as an ingredient when it was penned as the good folk of the time did not understand the pivotal role that yeast played in the brewing process and they presumably didn’t want to include references to ‘Voo Doo’, mystical fairies, magic or ‘The Gods’.

Weihenstephaner

Some of you may have gathered from my posts that one of my all time very favourite brewers is the one which is considered – at least by themselves – as the oldest brewery in the world and which makes some of the gosh-darned best beers a man can sip or skol. Or skull. Or scoll.

Weihenstephaner is a brewer of German origin and is situated on a hill called Nährberg in the south of the country at Freising in the region of Bavaria. Just north of Munich. Map 175, G6. The former monastery lays claim to the title of ‘oldest working brewery in the whole wide world ever’ and can trace its brewing origins back to 1040.

The whole monastery movement was founded in Italy by St. Benedict and, as it spread north into what is now Germany and Austria, it saw the removal of grapes and wine in favour of barley and beer. The alpine snows wend their way down into the Munich basin and it is here that the good Lord has seen fit to provide a great source of brewing water and a perfect spot for barley cultivation. Nice job, Lord.

The naturally defensible terrain lent itself as the perfect site for a monastery. The naturally natural nature of the hops, water and barley lent itself as the perfect site for a brewery.

Around 725AD a Benedictine monk named Korbinian founded a little chapel on a little hill called Weihenstephan. This means ‘sacred Stephen’ and its significance in this story is really cool and will be revealed shortly. By 1040AD the chapel had graduated to the status of abbey and was granted the right to sell its beer. This was a big deal because the retailing of beer was strictly controlled by the government and it wanted to protect its tax revenue and to ensure that the beer sold was of a good quality.

The dude who bestowed upon the Weihenstephaner brewery the right to sell beer was none other than the King of the day, Wenceslas. As in ‘Good King Wenceslas’. As in ‘Good King Wenceslas looked out, on the Feast of Stephen’ – you know, the Christmas Carol? When he was looking out he was probably downing a large glass of Hefe Weissbier or maybe a Bayerisch Tradition or even a hoppy Pilsner*. Next Christmas when the kids start singing that one, smile knowingly and raise a glass to the church song about beer. Cool.

Hops have been grown in this area since around 700AD and so it made sense that Weihenstephan would enjoy a long and rich association with the region and with beer. Its beer history continues to this day. The brewery is now state owned and there is also a kind of Beer University attached as well as a restaurant and a library. Not the book kind, but the yeast kind. A veritable Aladdin’s cave of every conceivable strain of brewing yeast. I think that they may even do a kind of mail order yeast service for the big brewers.

Today, Weihenstephaner makes and distributes some ripping beers around the world. I have hosted a few beer dinners at restaurants and at nearly all of them I have managed to sneak in a ‘Steph. They range from the Original which is lagered for an extended time and is pale golden and refreshing, to the naturally cloudy and revitalising Hefe Weissbier and the dark, strong Korbinian, a double bock made for matching with roasts and smoked meat or fish. They make one of the finest Pilsners I have had the pleasure of downing as well as an award winning Kristallweissbier, made using a secret fermentation process, and an aromatic and malty Tradition.

The brewery/monastery has gone through a bit in the last thousand years. It was burned to the ground completely on four occasions between 1085 and 1463, was depopulated by three plagues and crumbled under an earthquake. Despite furious devastating raids by the Huns, the Swedes, the French and even their own Emperor Ludwig the Bavarian, those tenacious Benedictines not only refused to be beaten, but they also managed to perfect the art of brewing and improve their techniques each time they rebuilt. Good on them!

But in 1803 the State did what a thousand years of pillaging and raiding could not. With a flourish of a quill, the Weihenstephan Monastery was secularised, or religiously decommissioned. Every brewery possession and brewing right was transferred to the Bavarian state. Fortunately the brewery was taken over as a working brewery and not sold to a cheesy moustached developer with non-pleated slacks and carved up into a thousand pokey little lots with pissy two storey townhouses on them. The tradition was to continue because the drinkers of Bavaria deemed the beer too good to lose.

In 1852 the brewery the Central Agriculture School moved to Weihenstephan and all the brewing students came with it. In 1895 the school became an Academy and in 1919 was elevated to a University. It became incorporated into the Technical University of Munich in 1930 and soon developed into the world centre for brewing and brew technology.

So, if you are out and about and happen upon a friendly retail outlet with a friendly shopkeep who is a purveyor of the finest malted beverages, stride to the counter and confidently request a Weihenstephaner Hefeweissbier Dunkel or a Festbier and give them a try. If you can only find a Dan Murphy’s just go with an Original, a Pilsner or one of the wheat beers. Then go home and drink them and wish your companions a Merry Christmas from Good King Wenceslas.

(You will know from these pages that Weihenstephaner also pulled off the title of Grand Champion at this years beer gongs, the Beer Awards. I mentioned then that the reviewer who wrote the little piece on the awards referred to the beer as Weihenstephan – perhaps I even had a little crack at him – well, I stand by it. Yes, there is an overseas version bearing this moniker in some markets, but I don’t see how that would be any different from the one judged by Australian judges in Australia where the label contains the ‘er’ ending bit.)


*Well, not a pilsner probably, as this style was not invented until October 5, 1842 but you get the drift?