Sunday, November 30, 2008

Farcebook strikes back

I don’t do Facebook. Never have. I don’t have anything against people who do, it’s just not me. I would just rather drink with real friends than count pretend ones. I’m possibly just outside the age demographic that really ‘gets it’ and finds it rewarding.

I work in restaurants. Have for a while. Love the trade, love the people factor and the banter and the pace and the vibe and all those things that set the hospitality industry aside from so many other careers. About the worst thing you can do to really piss me off is to D&D – dine and dash – ‘do a runner’, ‘bail on the bill’, basically break the law by ordering and eating and drinking and then committing common theft by not paying the bill. That really pisses me off. It’s hard enough to make a dollar at the best of times without dirty toe rags scarpering on you.

So it tickled me a bit to hear the story of the Southgate restaurant which had this disrespect visited upon them recently. A group of five young diners requested a table for dinner after a few drinks at the bar. They ordered confidently from the menu, drank fine wines and, after dessert popped out for a smoke from which none of them returned. They left a bitter taste in the mouth of the owner. They also left a bill for $520. They also left a clue. Dickheads.

When the group arrived, the boss recalled a conversation between one of the soon-to-be-bill dodgers and a staff member concerning a staff member not on duty that night. The dickhead left his name for the waiter. The owner fired up the laptop and entered the name into Facebook and there was the little scrote, pictured with his girlfriend, a fellow scrota-ette and member of the dine and dash party! The Facebook page also listed his place of employment – a neighbouring Southgate restaurant. Not just a filthy disrespectful tea-leaf, but thieving from his own ‘family’!!! How very dare he!!

The owner popped into his neighbours place and related the story. The fellow business owner returned to the scene of the crime within hours with the head dickhead in tow. The now less-than-smug bloke paid the bill in full plus a generous tip. Then he left and then his boss gave him the arse. Nice work, and quick, too!

Interesting to see if he updates his Facebook page to include this story.

I still don’t like Facebook.

Prof. Pilsner

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